MNESILOCHUS

You fairy! That's why you're so accessible to lovers!

EURIPIDES

But what prevents you going there?

AGATHON

I should run more risk than yourself. It would look as if I wanted to trespass on secret nightly pleasures of the women and to attack their Aphrodité. MNESILOCHUS (aside)

You mean wanting to be attacked! A fine excuse!

Then I am undone!

EURIPIDES

MNESILOCHUS

Send him to the devil and do with me as you like.

EURIPIDES

Very well then, since you devote yourself to my safety, take off your cloak first. MNESILOCHUS

There, it lies on the ground. But what do you want to do with me?

EURIPIDES

To shave off this beard of yours, and to remove all your other hair as well. MNESILOCHUS

Do what you think fit. I yield myself entirely to you.

EURIPIDES

Thanks.

Agathon, you always have razors about you; lend me one .. Now, Mnesilochus, sit down and puff out your right cheek. (as he shaves) What are you shouting for? I'll cram a spit down your gullet, if you're not quiet. MNESILOCHUS (rising and running)

No, I won't let myself be gashed like that!

EURIPIDES

You'll be laughed at with your face half-shaven like that. Come here, in the name of the gods, and don't leave me in the lurch. (His father-in-law obeys reluctantly.) Now, hold still . . . There! It's done and well done, too! And don't worry. You look charming. Do you want to see yourself? (hands him a mirror)

MNESILOCHUS

But this isn't I! It's Clisthenes! (a notorious homosexual of the day)

EURIPIDES

Stand up. I'm going to remove the rest of your hair. Bring a torch or a lamp! Go on, bend down and keep up your courage! Oh, cease your whining. The worst is over. And don't worry about being all black there. Satyrus will wash you. (Satyrus was a colleague of Clisthenes)

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